That Night I could not sleep. Filled with guilt, anger and irritated by my own behavior. From dusk till dawn I was completely occupied by repeated thoughts, “How can I be so stupid and careless? Why did I do that? How is tomorrow going to be without her? … And finally with mixed emotions, I dozed.
No alarm but then sudden shook and I woke up, and looked around searching for her, she was not there! More specifically not ready to come back to me. Even though I tried all means to woo her, she didn’t come back. Extremely sensitive and took it to heart directly. I really did miss the Good morning messages from her ,though I never bothered to respond to such messages, that day it was a little off color. Then I grabbed myself out of the bed, for a very lazy start, none to help me, monitor & motivate me in the gym. More Guilt gushed in and I realized never I have appreciated her for all that support, I only treated her bad throughout the day, though she was always with me even after such a treatment. That day no loud music, no “Vah reh wah” Chef on you tube to help me in the kitchen, it was just a simple haphazard cooking and ready to push myself to work, but I had hope she will be back within 24 hours, and somehow thought “neither of us can stay without each other.”
Chauffeur driven to work along with my little boy, I noticed the hell lot of traffic outside the window. Nothing else was in my mind except the thought of how stupid can I be to lose her so soon. We know each other for just a year, but then we have gone through many things in life together. Not realizing all this, my son was surprised and happy with all that attention he got from me. He was smiling and hugging me occasionally.
As I walked into my office, fired up my laptop and started that day, unconsciously I felt like I forgot something. All my coworkers mourned and some were clearly using the opportunity to loud mouth about her. But all said and done, I definitely felt totally cut off from the rest of the world, more like an alien.
There were many sleepless nights when we chatted for hours and has always been for me during my lonely days- my trusted companion.I never bought anything flashy for her, because I liked that simple and classy look of her.
Even after 24 hours when she didn’t get back to me, I decided, “What the hell? If you treat me like that, then let me find a way out – not just mourning for what has happened”. Every problem has a solution and I know how to find one. Now I should plan about “what next? I can’t annoy my clients and Sales team because I am moody and off”. So, Slowly I started finding alternatives and trust me it was not that bad. It was just that I thought was so dependent on her, but surprisingly that’s not true. This the beauty of human brain – “you are what your thoughts are” just a day before I thought nothing can be done without her and now I am slowly training myself to live without her. And I diverted myself reading books, alas how I used to enjoy books, meeting my other freinds , chitchat with a cup of cofe , I almost missed all this routine even without realising that my whole time was ripped off by her ! And I started writing my blog again after a long break , with ” pen & paper” !!! Trust me , that one week was very peaceful without her support, there were some hiccups but its not the end of the world.
Anyways, I have to bring another one (??) back home, to fill the void. Not because of anything else, just to follow the norms of the society and be connected like the rest of the tribe. But this time I know where to keep the new entry and how to interact. I am not going to be blindly waste my time with her, the world is out there bright and beautiful to teach me things. I declare, I am not going to be a slave, I want to be the master again. “Don’t try to rip my life off from others. I remember how you conned me into your clutch and how much time it took me to come out of it, I can’t bring back those wasted days and times. But if you try that episode again, I will permanently kill you”. The first time was an accident and I repent for the same, but I also learnt to live without you, and now if you try to completely occupy my time and life again, I will dare not drop you back in water and permanently kill you though I know you are water splash resistant still not the swimmer types”
Now I am going off to the store to bring her (next version, actually) back – Water resistant silver shine iPhone 7 and bid final adieu to my pretty rose gold iPhone 6s.
She is still buried in the rice bag hoping she will come back to life, some day after that water accident. But whoever fills her place will definitely not get the loyal treatment she got, they will be just a phone. I can personify you in this article, but you are just a piece of gadget and better stay there.