That night I could not sleep, filled with guilt, anger and irritated by my own behavior. From dawn to dusk I was completely occupied by repeated thoughts, “How can I be so stupid and careless? Why did I do that? How am I going to be without her? ” with all mixed emotions, I finally dozed.
No alarm but then sudden shook and I woke up, and looked around searching for her, she was not there! More specifically not ready to come back to me. Even though I tried all means to woo her, she didn’t come back. Extremely sensitive and took it to her heart directly. I really did miss the good morning messages ,though I never bothered to respond to such messages, that day it was a little off color. Then I pushed myself out of the bed for a very lazy start, none to help me, monitor & motivate me in the gym. No loud music, no “Vah reh wah” Chef on you tube to accompany me in the kitchen.
Chauffeur driven to work along with my little boy, I noticed hell lot of traffic outside . Nothing else was in my mind except the thought of how stupid can I be to lose her so soon. We know each other for just a year, but then we have gone through quite a lot together. There were many sleepless nights when we chatted for hours and has always been for me during my lonely travel days- my trusted companion. More guilt gushed in and I have never appreciated her for all that support, though she was always with me even after such a bad treatment . I never bought anything flashy for her, because I liked that simple and classy look . But I had a hope she will be back , and somehow thought “neither of us can stay without each other.”
Not realizing all this, my son was surprised and happy with all that attention he got from me. He was smiling and hugging me occasionally.
As I fired up my laptop at work and started that day, I had to mail everyone that I may not be available all through the day and might need some time to resume back. All my coworkers mourned and some were clearly using the opportunity to loud mouth about her. But all said and done, I definitely felt totally cut off from the rest of the world, more like an alien.
Even after 24 hours when she didn’t get back to me, I decided, “What the hell? How long am I going to carry this grim face, let me find a way out ”. Every problem has a solution and I know how to find one. Now time to stop mourning and to think about “what next? I can’t annoy my clients and Sales team because I am cut off”. So, Slowly I started engaging myself with work and finding alternatives and trust me it was not that bad. It was just that I thought I was so dependent on her, but surprisingly that’s not true.
This the beauty of human brain – “you are what your thoughts are” just a day before I thought nothing can be done without her and now I am slowly training my mind to find alternatives. And I diverted myself reading books, gosh how I used to enjoy reading hard copy books, meeting my friends , chitchat with a cup of coffee , I almost missed all this routine even without realizing that my whole time was ripped off by her ! And I started writing my blog again after a long break , with ” pen & paper” !!! Trust me , that one week was very peaceful without her, I admit there were some hiccups but its not the end of the world.
Anyways, I have to bring another one (??) back home, to fill the void. Not because of anything else, just to follow the norms of the society and be connected like the rest of the tribe. But this time I know where to keep the new one and how to interact. I am not going to be blind again to waste my time with her, the world is out there bright and beautiful to teach me lot of things. I declare, I am not going to be a slave, I want to be the master again. “Don’t try to rip my life off from others. I remember how you conned me into your clutch and how much time it took me to come out of it, I can’t bring back those wasted days and times. But if you try that episode again, I will permanently get rid of you”. The first time was an accident and I repent for the same, but I also learnt to live without you, and now if you try to completely occupy my time and life again, I will dare not drop you back in water and permanently kill you though I know you are water splash resistant.
Now I am going off to the store to buy (next version, actually) – Water resistant silver shine iPhone 7 and bid final adieu to my pretty rose gold iPhone 6s. ( buried safely in the rice bag with no hope of revival, after the water accident)
I can personify you in this article, but you are just a piece of gadget and better stay there.