It started with a heated discussion on the dinner table with my colleagues! Well, last week I went on an official trip to Bahrain, exorbitant country, with white desert sand everywhere. But skyline and broad roads don’t attract me anymore! Not a single greenery to admire! And it is one heck of a party town! (Surprised?) Nothing else – anyways this is not one of my travel journal.
Well let me get to the point, when I and my colleagues started discussing work, country, politics, we stopped at this interesting topic on women. My colleagues, all men of different origin, different culture, different countries, brought up in different situations had one common view – wife can’t earn more than the husband! (What the heck??!!??). In this generation, men have such ideologies? Why? – I asked them? Nobody could give a right reason, but they all honestly agreed they can’t accept that!
For couple of days, I was musing on this, I am not a feminist, nor talk about women empowerment and up lift stories! At least in my generation and circle, women are already liberated, take their own decisions and are financially independent! But I wonder what difference it makes if she earns more or less? I am not judging all men based on my small discussion , but very surprised when all my colleagues were of the same opinion.
Women are different from Men – absolutely no question about it! Both the genders were created/evolved for a reason/reasons. They have unique qualities which are their strengths! It’s so beautiful when two different people, live together and lead a happy life in spite of varied interests and aspirations!
When I see couples especially the young ones separate I wonder why, where and when does ego between them pop up? Is it when the male earns more and dominate or women expecting every man to be an ideal Prince Charming as in fairy tale! Ego – simple three letter word separate many young couples even before they taste the depth of relationship! Their decision to split is hasty, baseless and absolutely unreasonable!! I strongly condemn woman who misuse gender advantage.
There could be multiple reasons for developing such an egoistic attitude, the way a child is brought up, culture and social pressure – but to me an alarming reason in modern times, could be one or more of the following – Messages, quotes, relationship jokes, picture comics from unknown sources spreading across social media, people exposing their personal life in public pages, or relationship advisers – may be a friend or acquaintance who will go about giving gyans. I might sound silly, but prove me wrong!
Everybody has a different perception of taking or reading information! Remember you are
“What you read and what you see and observe”
In classic literature women were always compared with flowers, moon, rivers nicer things etc ! I don’t think this has given respect to women but rather a glamorous doll image! Now in this era, all jokes, though the aim is to make the reader laugh, is all taboo. It’s an exaggeration of picturizing women as always a burden or a husband scared about his wife, portrays marriage as a lifelong tax or on the flip side portrays how difficult or what major change it is for a newly married woman, to sacrifice her liberty to build a healthy relationship with in laws !!
Marriage is bringing two persons into a living relationship. Sacrifices are at both ends, its trial and error way of learning to live and to take responsibility, to nurture a child and to build a strong bond. It doesn’t get developed in a single day but as years pass by!
A young reader may lose the trust and value on marriage and relationships! And believe me that’s a choice these robust well educated, dignified, financially independent, self-driven young couples take, and expose their issues, anger and frustration through social media! For which people apparently with lots of free time give easy piece of advice without knowing the gravity of the situation!
If you don’t read, don’t speak and don’t socialize you are “uninformed” but if you read all the articles, messages (and blogs :)) you might be “misinformed” too.
Is gender equality so important in a relationship? – Give respect to each other and give the right space, No one is here to overpower or dominate for whatsoever reason! It’s just money is it? Money can’t buy everything in life, the topic of wife earning more than a husband has no base. It’s just two people earning together to lead a happy life.
Relationships are not complex or challenging, there are ups and downs,face it, taste it ,nurture and cherish it!