Age of Extremities : Black or White

Covid Celebrity Divorces – Unfortunately, this is going to be a timely topic for quite some time. It will be up until we get introduced to a new Greek Alphabet.

As social media started analysing the root cause, I did my share by conversing with my colleague. One plausible reason that stood out is “they just had too much of each other during lockdown”.

After that discussion, my inner monologue kept repeating this adage for some reason,

அளவுக்கு மிஞ்சினால் அமிர்தமும் நஞ்சு‘  which translates to ‘Too much of even ambrosia (divine nectar) will be poisonous’

Now I have to silence my mental voice. So, here I am back to connecting dots, after a short break.

These are few phrases we hear most often,

“ Hey, I binge watched Netflix series this weekend”

“ Guys, I am a workaholic, I don’t know to relax”

” I got 300 likes “

“Oops, my calorie counter shows red alert, have to burn it now ” And it goes on…….

Binge- watching, Workaholic, Pigging out, Compulsive workout, Excessive screen time, Selfitis (self-obsession), Social media freak, Bookworm, Over indulgence, Helicopter parenting, or Information overload …….

All these pompous words has become most common fashion phrases. But these words are nothing but synonyms of Extreme in Digital dictionary.

Living in a highly polarised Society, we either succumb in the extreme of excess else descend into deficiency. ( eg : Carbs and fat became derogatory). But, Unravelling the mystery of why we cave into pressure & society is beyond explanation.

You may ask me, What is wrong with being obsessive or repulsive?

Obsession means ‘living in their heads’ rather than living their life. It slowly drives anyone to “All or Nothing” mindset. A twisted thought process to accept life’s nuances . Or let us simply say thinking in extremes, Black or white. Anything less than winning is looked upon as a failure.

The winner takes it all “, sometimes the fear of losing does stop from even trying anything. Besides, Obsession or excessive hatred is a type of personality disorder. I am not going to divulge into anxiety and depression now. ( Google Guru has it all)

Why Worry ? Here is an Anti Dote ..

“Everything in moderation” — It implies no gorging nor abstaining, but finding a balance between the extremes.

Though I Agree, our present day world bombards us with temptations, causing us to over-consume or stay in our cocoons out of fear and anxiety, but finding a simple line between the two/balance is not an easy goal either.

As Joey says, May be because the “line is a dot to you “… 🙂

Above and beyond, While the idea of finding that “right amount of anything- In moderation” approach is seemingly sensible, I think there is a fundamental flaw in the concept of finding this balance. It is arbitrary and subjective.

We are fed with so much of conflicting information(overload) about the pros and cons of every known thing in this universe.

One day I read coffee is good for you, Next day coffee is bad for x reason; dark chocolate helps your heart, too much fat harms it: he is very humble and successful, he is extremely vulnerable and lost it  ─Lots of analysis on everything & everyone, beyond what is needed and it is very hard to figure out moderation. 

I am convinced that the concept of “Moderation” has been completely distorted in this new age.

First of all, I don’t know how to find out what is ‘too much’ ? Each one of us have a different definition based on our convenience. I think spending more than an hour idle is beyond my principle and someone might call that decluttering the mind and relaxing.

When the measure of “too much“ is vague and depends from person to person, how can that moderation be common. Being in digital era, let us call this as a “ Highly personalised” factor.

In spite of  many variables and external influences in our lives that can affect the personalised factor, we ourselves are unsettled too. We keep changing or I would say growing up every day. When everything is fluid, it’s difficult to locate the point of consistency or draw that line of moderation (though that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try). Obviously in the past with less external influencers finding that line would have been relatively easier.

While we are clear in most cases, neither extreme on its own will serve us, finding that balance ( Golden mean as mentioned by Aristotle ) between the two is something highly individual to each of us and varies according to the seasons of our lives.

So when we hunt for our sense of balance between heart & mind, pick the courage to test it multiple times in real world and notice the impact on ourselves. We might be successful or if nothing works we can start again.

It takes experimentation and reflection to find our balance point on the scale from one extreme to another.

Well, You must be wondering why did I start with recent celebrity divorces…and rant over extremities to moderation…

In the way I see it, We all have one life to live and we can choose how we want to live it. So it is none of my business to talk about their separation, but what carried me away is the saying “ too much of anything or anyone” and how to experiment that balance line. I guess you all agree with me else the comment section is open. Have a good day.

5 Comments Add yours

  1. Srini rao says:

    Nice read and fully agree the definition of extremes and balance is function of individual and their own context on life and time

    1. Thanks Srini !

    2. Thanks Srini for reading and as always your feedback !

  2. Sujatha says:

    You spoke my mind out!
    Too much of anything or anyone has indeed been the problem for last couple of years now! Many of us have lived literally 24×7 under the same roof with our spouse, children and sometimes extended family!
    There were times I was so thankful that we all could spend time together .. binge watching series with my husband was like a distant dream before this era ..and savoured each moment together for a few weeks.. and when it becomes the routine it loses the charm and these cheap thrills in life don’t last long! So having your day sorted is more important than ever with the cliche “me time” a must during these times..
    And yes, I resonate with the thought that if you haven’t lived their lives you cannot just cannot judge them for the decisions they take.

    1. True,When the lockdown started it was all about videos , dalgonas, throwbacks, family lunches blah blah , and once it became a routine , now all of us want that me time . Anyways, Thanks for reading and happy when someone resonates with the same thought. Good day

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